By Maryann Tomovich Jacobsen, MS, RD
Maryann Tomovich Jacobsen is a registered dietitian, mother of two and creator of www.RaiseHealthyEaters.com, a blog dedicated to providing parents with the most credible nutrition information. You can follow her updates on twitter.
Even though I was born an intuitive eater, I had to work at becoming one as an adult. I wish I could get back the countless hours I spent obsessing about food and weight. And while I’m grateful that I found a way out, I’m determined to spare my children of the experience.
When I first started on this journey I wanted to know the answer to one question: what makes someone eat the way they do? Why do some people listen to their hunger and satiety cues and others ignore them?
I’ve learned that parental feeding strategies have a big impact on a child’s future relationship with food. Because most food learning occurs the first 5 years of life, parents are a child’s most important “food” teacher.
On my blog, www.RaiseHealthyEaters.com, I write about three crucial factors for raising children to eat intuitively. To understand why each is so important, let’s go over each one:
1) How to feed: The most important way to help children create a healthy relationship with food is to work on how you feed them. Remember, children are born with the natural ability to regulate food intake. So focus on feeding strategies that protect their in-born satiety and fullness cues.
Ellyn Satter, dietitian, feeding expert and author of several books, created the Division of Responsibility of feeding. Basically parents decide the “when,” “what,” and “where” of feeding and children decide the “whether” and “how much” of eating. Children know how much food they need – and when parents let them decide how much to eat they learn to listen to their bodies. But if kids are controlled at mealtime, they’ll learn to eat for external reasons instead. Studies show children eat less when pressured and more when food is restricted.
2) What to feed: A parent’s main responsibility in feeding is deciding what their child will eat. Nutrition is important for growing children. For more on nutrition needs at certain ages, see How to Maximize Nutrition at Every Stage.
The goal is to expose your child to a variety of foods including fruits, vegetables, whole and refined grains, dairy, meats, beans, nuts, fats and sweets. Children under 18 months of age don’t have much room for empty calorie foods like ice cream and cookies, but as they get closer to 2 these food can be part of their balanced diet. Studies show that when offered a variety of foods, children will get the nutrition they need.
Why is a dietitian recommending you serve sweet foods? Because studies show that restricting access to such foods causes children to eat more in the absence of hunger. But you also don’t want to offer sweet foods at every meal and snack. Instead, offer them every so often at a regular snack time. But that’s not all – you’ll need to make sure your child can have as much of it as they want.
In her books, Ellyn Satter discusses this idea of scarcity of eating. When children feel they can’t get enough food, especially highly palatable foods like sweets, they will want them even more. That means restricting them to only one cookie when they really want two or three, makes them fixate on these foods more. The bottom line is kids need to learn how to eat all types of foods.
3. Be a positive role model: You can master the how of feeding and provide balanced meals but if you still battle food your child will take notice. I truly believe becoming a parent makes you a better person. The love a mom and dad have for their child is an incredible force that can be channeled into overcoming life-long challenges.
So if don’t have a healthy relationship with food, take steps to work on it. If you’ve been reading Maggie’s blog, you’re already on your way. It starts with listening to you hunger and satiety cues, making feeding yourself a priority (along with your children) and reading some good books including Maggie’s story and Intuitive Eating.
Raising an intuitive eater is not an easy task in today’s world. But if you can focus on the three crucial elements – how to feed, what to feed and being a positive role model – you’ll have it mastered in no time.
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3 comments:
Ok, let me try this again. :)
Thanks for this post, it makes me feel better about allowing Lucy to have dessert after dinner (she requests it about 3-4 times per week).
Now that she's in her 2s, however, she's hitting that picky phase where some nights she ONLY wants dessert instead of dinner. Our current approach is to make her wait until we finish dinner (sometimes she will get hungry and eat dinner then) while offering her other easy foods if she doesn't like the meal (cheese, crackers, fruit, peanut butter sandwich, etc). Then when we're done if she still requests it she can have dessert even if she didn't eat any dinner.
It's hard for me to let her eat dessert when she skips dinner but at least this way dessert doesn't equal a reward.
Linzey,
I think you are on the right track. I recently interviewed Ellyn Satter and she had an interesting take on how to handle dessert and dinner. She says to serve it with dinner! For more on this you can see the article http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2009/10/the-1-feeding-mistake-parents-make-expert-interview/
Another thing she points out in her book is that kids will take the easy way out if it's available. So instead of offering your child other food when she refuses dinner, you might want let her know this is the only meal there will be. Just make sure there are two items you know she'll like. Check out this article for some examples http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2009/11/how-to-make-family-dinners-more-kid-friendly/
I hope that helps. I know feeding picky eaters is not easy. Focusing on the division of responsibility has really helped me. My only job is to decide what, where and when my child eats and her job is decide whether and how much to eat.
Maryann
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