What I Learned from a 3 Musketeers Wrapper

I was walking to my car after work today and saw something shiny on the ground that caught my eye. It was blowing across the parking lot and I couldn't figure out what it was until I got closer: a 3 Musketeers candy wrapper. All of a sudden it hit me -- "I didn't have one piece of candy on Halloween this year."

It was at that moment -- 24 hours after Halloween -- that I realized I hadn't thought about candy once the entire day. As I continued walking to my car, it dawned on me that my experience with Halloween candy through the years would be a wonderful example to show what disordered eating, "recovery" eating, and ultimately "Eating When You're Hungry" eating looks like.

So here goes...

Many years ago, when I restricted my food, I would think about Halloween for days and sometimes even weeks before the holiday to figure out how I'd avoid eating Halloween candy without looking like I had any problems with disorered eating. I wouldn't touch a piece of Halloween candy so I never had debates in my head about whether I'd eat it or not. But I didn't want to appear to have an eating disorder, so I would spend a considerable amount of time figuring out how to not eat the Halloween candy and not have people notice anything peculiar.

Years later, when I was in "recovery," I would look forward to Halloween. Why? Because it was a chance to eat candy and be "normal!" So during my years of recovery, I would anticipate Halloween (and other food-related holidays) with excitement because I'd get to be just like everyone else. I'd enjoy it when I could actually eat Halloween candy in front of other people to show that I was "normal." This of course was major progress, albeit still a bit disordered.

Fast forward to today -- when I have no disordered thoughts around food anymore -- and I actually forgot about candy on Halloween. It turns out that just this past weekend (days before Halloween) I was in Chicago, and while I was there, I discovered an amazing ice cream shop and a delicious ice cream flavor: Fat Elvis. The Fat Elvis flavor of ice cream at this particular ice cream shop was banana ice cream (very mild banana flavor) filled with peanut butter chunks and chocolate chunks. Heaven. I loved it. In fact, I loved it so much that I had a Fat Elvis ice cream cone every night I was in Chicago (3 nights). On the last morning of the trip, my sister-in-law recommended breakfast somewhere that is known for their cinnamon buns. I happen to love cinnamon buns, but the thought of eating something sweet that morning did not appeal to me in the least, so I got eggs instead. Clearly, after three nights of large Fat Elvis ice-cream cones, I wasn't craving anything sweet (I was craving protein), which explains why candy was not on my mind yesterday, and why I didn't even realize until tonight as that 3 Musketeers wrapper caught my eye, that I forgot about Halloween candy.

So that, my friends, is a little glimpse into the future for all of you who are committed to never dieting again. Some call it intuitive eating. I call it eating when I'm hungry. Whatever way you slice it, it all evens out in the end.

On that note, Happy (belated) Halloween!

**And one final comment. I told my husband about this blog posting and he said, "I had a similar experience today!" "Really," I said? Yes. He realized today, when he walked out of our front door and saw a neighbor's "witch's pot" full of candy, that he too, forgot about eating Halloween candy yesterday. And he realized that he actually didn't want any.

This is not to say that there is anything wrong with eating Halloween candy. You see, my husband was a bit ice-creamed out from our Chicago trip too, and so he wasn't craving anything sweet today either.

So there you have it....that's what eating when you're hungry looks like. Talk to me in a week and I'm sure we'll both be back to wanting some dessert (or candy)!