I have heard from many Eat When You’re Hungry readers, “Maggie, I’ve done such a great job of eating mindfully. I tasted every delicious morsel of food at dinner and I even stopped when I was full. But then I got anxious (or sad, or bored, or tired, or excited...or fill in the emotion that applies to you), and though I wasn’t hungry, all I wanted to do was eat. HELP! What do I do? I only know how to soothe myself with food.”
Excellent question! This is probably one of the most common questions that comes up among people who are on the journey toward a non-dieting way of life. Particularly among those of us who have come to rely on such a wonderful companion -- food -- for so long.
The first step toward learning how to soothe yourself without using food (when you’re not hungry) is to stop, pat yourself on that back and say, “Wow, at least I got to where I am today even if it took a hundred sleeves of Oreos to get here." That’s right, I want you to acknowledge where you are today.
We need to accept and celebrate where we are today and where we’ve come from in order to get to where we want to be -- free from food restrictions and enjoying a non-dieting way of life!
The first thing I suggest to those wishing to release their reliance on food to soothe their emotions is the following: make a list of your top 10 favorite things to do. Some examples are getting a manicure and pedicure, pouring a cup of tea and curling up on the couch with your favorite book, going to the movies, calling your friends, playing with your kids, getting a massage, having a dance party for one in your bedroom, cleaning your closet, going for a walk, playing Tetris or jumping on your trampoline.
Now that you have this list you’re going to use it. I know just as well as you do that at some point soon you will find yourself standing in front of the refrigerator listening to an inner monologue that goes something like this. “I’m not hungry, but I want to eat. I’m bored, and this brownie will perk me up, or maybe I’ll have ice cream, or there’s that leftover pizza. Shoot, but I’m not hungry! What do I do? ” Ah - ha! This is what you do. You close the fridge, get out your list of self-soothing activities and choose one to engage yourself in for the next half-hour. This may feel funny at first, and you may feel sad to give up the ice cream sundae that you weren’t hungry for -- at first. But just remember, that ice cream sundae and that pizza will be waiting for you in the fridge/freezer just as soon as you’re hungry for them. And they’ll be so much more enjoyable when you’re eating them with an appetite in your belly.
Do you want to know a secret? You might always feel a little sad to turn down food that you want when you’re not hungry. Just the other night after finishing a tasty dinner of meatloaf and veggies, I wanted to eat a bowl of ice cream. But I knew I wasn’t hungry for it. The meatloaf I made was quite filling, and I just didn’t have room for ice cream at that particular moment. I was thinking about the ice cream for a good 10 minutes while we started catching up on The Daily Show from the week prior, but by the end of the first show, I’d forgotten entirely about the ice cream. And that’s what you’ll find happens with you. You won’t necessarily not think about eating when you’re not hungry, but you’ll learn how to self-soothe without food. And in the process, you’ll tap into an inner strength you never knew you had.
I hope this has helped shed some light on the common question about eating when you’re not hungry. Write to me and let me know what your experience has been with this. And remember, eat exactly what you want, when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re full.
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