How I Feel About Exercise

How do I feel about exercise? It’s the title of a chapter in my book and a question I get asked frequently. I will say that I feel very differently about exercise today than I did a year ago, when I was about a month away from giving birth to my daughter.

Before becoming pregnant I was a walker. Ever since college when I began walking with my roommate in the beautiful Gambier, Ohio, walking was my chosen form of exercise. I loved it. I would wake up early in the morning and walk outside before work for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. That was "My Time." My sacred time to myself before the day began. Over the years, I have also enjoyed tennis and dance, swimming, skiing and an occasional jog on days I had a particularly large amount of energy to burn off.

Despite my love for these activities, when I got pregnant I ceased practically all body movement. Why? Because I was TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For 39 weeks, I didn’t exercise at all, with the exception of a few short walks with my husband for fresh air. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend such an abrupt end to exercise, as I think more movement would have actually been good for me while I was pregnant, but my body didn’t want to move much during those 39 weeks and I listened to it.

How things change when you have a baby...after giving birth to Emily, along with practically every single thing in my life turning upside down, so did my exercise. I craved any and all forms of body movement almost as much as I craved all the food I was putting into my body. I think I craved it because my body missed the natural high it gets from exercising. Perhaps exercise also signaled that I was taking back my body after loaning it out -- happily -- to my daughter.

So when I got approval from my doctor, I started moving. Of course I took stroller walks proudly showing off my baby girl to fellow exercises who wanted a peak inside the stroller (I still do!). But because it was so hot and I was fearful of my baby overheating, I quickly took my exercise inside. While she was napping I did workout videos, strength training with free weights....heck, I must admit that I actually hoola hooped in front of the TV while Emily was sleeping one day. During this time I also took a few (very intense) treadmill classes while granny or grandma watched Emily, and it felt AMAZING!

Now that I'm back at work, my time to exercise is limited, but I'm still squeezing it in. My husband and I are actually working out together these days. We're doing a CRAZY set of workout DVDs that I never imaged would be sitting in our bookshelf. They're called Insanity. You may have heard of them. The workouts are literally INSANE. I couldn’t possibly do everything the instructor tells me to do, and I am by no means following the schedule of workouts that the instructor suggests. What I am doing is pushing myself hard, and enjoying a good sweat and stress reliever at the end of the day (at least a few times a week). I'm also feeling stronger than I’ve felt in years.

Before I go further, I must say that I hesitated writing this post because I know that for many people, a workout program such as Insanity is something that plays into the restricting, diet-focused mentality that I try to protect you from here on this site. But I’m writing this post because I am truly enjoying the workouts (and the increased energy they produce), and because I want to relay the message that you can enjoy exercise – even very intense exercise – without buying into the diets and punishment that often go along with it.

Like me, you may have to make a conscious effort to tune out messages about weight loss that are spewed forth in workout classes and on home workout DVDs. You can’t control the entire world’s messages about weight and body image. But if you enjoy moving your body and want to feel stronger, you deserve to do it. I’m engaging in more intense exercise than I’ve ever done because it feels good, and frankly, because I want to build my muscles so that as Emily grows, my body keeps up with her.

AND I DON’T FEEL GUILTY IF I MISS A NIGHT – OR A WEEK – OF EXERCISE.

Believe me, there are many nights when Jeremy wants to exercise and I don’t. Sometimes I push myself to participate, and sometimes I don’t. Because these workout DVDs are a treat for me now, and not punishment, I look forward to them in an entirely different way than I would have when I was struggling with food issues years ago.

So I ask you – are there any activities you’re denying yourself because of the associations they carry?